Random Digressions Blog

Random Digressions

Vitamins Confuse Me

I’m confused. That’s not unusual. This time it’s vitamins. A daily multi-vitamin is simple enough. It’s all the other stay-young-lose-weight-bench-press-your-house natural blends. In the old days, an apple a day was all it took. Then came Geritol and One-A-Day. And today we face wide shelves of natural herbal products proclaiming victory over every human frailty–one … Continue reading Vitamins Confuse Me

My Column for a Name

I need a name. I already have a name, but I need another one. It’s for my column. I want something that means “thoughts that are random, uncertain, sometimes opinionated, sometimes whimsical, sometimes insightful, sometimes not and often tongue-in-cheek.” In fewer than three words. You might say that the name doesn’t matter, that the columns … Continue reading My Column for a Name

Innovations Schminnovations

Enough already. It’s just too much. I’m sick of it. You probably already know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Everybody must be saying the same thing, aren’t they? Humanity the world over doesn’t need any more innovations in shaving. But that’s not what Gillette and Schick think. They keep releasing “innovative” new razors and … Continue reading Innovations Schminnovations

Dear God, I Need a Doggy Break

I want to be a dog. I’m a little tired of the pace of humanity, and I want to just simplify, simplify, simplify. (With deference to Emerson, one simplify isn’t enough for this kind of change.) So I’m writing a letter to God. If I can formally explain my position, I might get this well … Continue reading Dear God, I Need a Doggy Break

My Day as a Dog

Well, I’m a dog now. God accepted my application to become a dog and see what I can learn from it, so I woke up this morning fuzzy and four legged. And I really had to pee. Unfortunately, I couldn’t open the door, and I had my first longing for human traits—opposable thumbs. So I … Continue reading My Day as a Dog