Something Fell Out of My Brain

Every now and then I have a thought or two. Sometimes they just pop right out and drop on the floor in front of me. Periodically I have to sweep them up into a neat little pile.

So here they are gathered all together, individual bits of brain droppings with no particular organization. Some are frivolous, others serious. None have anything to do with the others. They are…how can I put it just right…Random Digressions.

Watch where you step.

Comparing apples to oranges is actually very easy. They’re both fruits, they both grow on trees and they both make a sweet juice.

If you want something hard, try comparing apples to indignation. One’s a tangible, physical item; the other’s an intangible concept related to anger.

So the saying should be, “That’s like comparing apples to indignation.” Even then, they’re both similar in that they are nouns, so if you want something really hard, try comparing apples to “were.”

If I could be anywhere at anytime doing anything, I’d be here tomorrow thinking about today.

Now that I think about it, I might as well just be here now.

The truth is that war is necessary. The truth is that war is a sloppy, horrible, bloody infliction on humanity.

Holding both truths at the same time creates an unresolvable conflict in the mind. Both truths exist nonetheless.

People often resolve the conflict by minimizing one truth over the other. So I’m leery of opinions that say peace is always the answer because it ignores the history of tyrants. I’m leery of opinions that flippantly cry havoc and pass off the suffering of war as a necessity, because even when war is necessary, it is a bloody, messy, painful social infliction.

Knowing and holding both truths should make anybody shudder, pause and wonder about the destiny of humanity.

We get age all wrong. If you have 40 apples on the table, you still have 20 apples on the table. You don’t lose those apples, so it’s still accurate to say that you have 20 apples on the table.

Age works the same way. If you’re 40, you don’t stop being 39 or 38 or 20. You still have the years of being 16 or 18 or 20. So it’s still accurate to say that you’re 20.

On the other hand, after 20 years, apples get dried and shriveled. You may still have those old apples, but you might not want to show them off.

What ever happened to old fashioned burials? Today people are cremated or put in the deep freeze waiting for a cure for the ailment that kills them.

When I die, I don’t want to be cremated or frozen, I want to be boiled. In fact, a good rendering would fit me fine.

Someday I’d like to make a movie about the making of the movie I’m making.

The brain is so cool. It’s so perfectly bumpy, gray and thoughtful. It fills the skull just right floating in a bath of neuron juice (I imagine it tastes salty.). It can do some really cool things other organs can’t do like count, connive, get drunk, conjugate and write random digression.

When we dream it gets its own nightly movie, so it’s kind of an elitist as organs go. I imagine the other organs are jealous of the great power of the brain, but then again, it’s my brain telling me that.